How to Make Jelly Out of Almost Anything

A person needs a hobby in order not to fall into insanity. He can hunt squirtles, rock a zumba party, or knit formal clothes for his ferret — all of these are the right life choices. My task is to figure out how to make jelly from various commercially available beverages. Do they all work? Nope. Are all these sources of unsurpassed taste pleasure? Depends on how you feel about Red Bull, Mountain Dew, or Genesee cream ale to start with. The process of making jelly is amazing, but not magical. Ice Beast jelly won't suddenly become an integral part of your breakfast ritual if you didn't make it anyway, but I guarantee it will make you smile, or even smile ten times, as you bring it to the boil.Let's blame my dad *; he's a strong, excellent man, and he can take it. He's also a retired chemist who had a penchant for making wine jelly as a gift to the host at Christmas parties when I was a kid. The slight awe and sly grins of the recipients are deeply etched on me, so now I'm a grown-up lady who has been known to show up at parties with Four Loko spread jars. It's just fun, and who couldn't add a little of it to their English muffin right now?To be honest, I don't understand how the breakfast spreads turned out to be so appetizing at all. In the morning, you are defenseless, you have a crumpled face with crunchy lids, and the purpose of the morning meal should be to meet you where you are and promote your transformation into the person you need to be to face the outside world. In fact, an exquisite jam jar tied with ribbons can be tucked in better and set more solidly than you are, and that's a small humiliation you can do without. But if you make jelly out of a caffeinated drink, it won't have time to cook — so your toast almost starts cooking before you do. No, thank you, delicious science.I first learned how to make jelly a few years ago when I was trying not to go crazy. Self-doubt and deep anxiety (born of an increasingly unpredictable boss) plagued me at work, and I took a week off to rethink. But since I tend to go out of my way to relax, I gave myself a task: pickle and make jelly out of everything on earth. I canned peaches, beans, okra, cherries, tongue, and made chow chow and wine from corn cobs, chutney, nasturtium pesto, and"creepy English dinner meat." As the mountain of cans grew, so did my confidence. I may be an incompetent moron in the workplace, but at least I can demonstrate my worth in this kitchen.And around 2 a.m., I ran out of canned food. Every piece of canned food was now safely locked away in glass and metal, and a reasonable person could have left it at that. Seeing that there was no one around to knock the can funnel out of my hands, I picked up the Sugar Chiwine and crossed my fingers. To my great surprise, it turned into jelly the next day. I did the same with a coke, ginger beer, and a random Smirnoff ice pack I found in the back of the refrigerator. Sure, it was a small, silly victory, but the combination of culinary science and comedy took me out of my disgust, and handing out jars to friends and colleagues was a hell of a lot of fun. I kept a jar of apple pie-flavored, limited-edition apple pie on my desk as a stress-relief toy, and clutched it in horror when I was particularly upset. I smeared it on toast before the interview for my next job and felt great.There are very few miracles available to us mortals, big or small, and very few opportunities to make anyone giggle before noon. You might as well do it by shaking your head and smiling.* Note: I shared this idea with my father and he said ," I've never tried Red Bull and I won't, and the thought of it as jelly is scary." (I'm sorry, Dad.) Dr. Kinsman also says: "I used pectin because it is widely available in supermarkets and refined for human consumption. There are other gelling agents that are suitable for human consumption, but pectin is natural for jelly. It should have a fairly high sugar content and a little acid. If the sugar-fruit solution is not tart enough, add a little lemon juice. I could easily make gelatin out of canned fruit, but I don't know much about soft drinks. They're sour, and that's probably enough, but is sugar enough? To find the right levels, you will need to experiment."Regular soda or energy drink, beer-based jelly or malt liquor, jelly
Heat the jars in boiling water until it's time to fill them. (Hot liquid can cause the room temperature jar to crack and / or explode.)Heat the jars in boiling water until it's time to fill them.